Sunday, August 31, 2008

Thoughts About Submission

Before I started researching BDSM and talking to more people in the lifestyle, I used to refer to some of my moods as 'dominant' and 'submissive'. After the research, I actually amended that. I really tend to be more 'top' or 'bottom' than 'dom' or 'sub'. I can be dominant or submissive for a period of time, but I'm not either on a permanent basis.

Last night CK and I had a playdate. Any play we've done before has been almost impromptu, short, and not extremely intense. This was a full-blown planned and anticipated scene as opposed to the casual nature of our other playtimes. The anticipation, I found, really put me in an interesting frame of mind. It seemed to do the same for him, if I were to judge by the intensity of the scene.

He called me before he came over to talk about dinner plans, and then he says, "I think I'm going to put a gag on you tonight.". I think I actually paused before answering "Oo-kay.". The idea seemed kind of out of the blue, and I've never worn a gag (or even really thought about it) before. He followed up with, "What do you think about that? Is that all right?". I replied with, "I'll try anything once." and then we talked about other things.

When he came over, we ate dinner and talked, and then playtime started. As I'm sure I've mentioned a dozen times before, CK bites. He was in more of a biting mood than usual and he was much more physical about it than usual, grabbing me and restraining me with hands and body while he sank his teeth into my back, my shoulders, and my neck. I was already breathless by the time he moved me where he wanted me. He pulled a bit gag out of his bag and asked me again if I was okay with it. I nodded, but I was oddly hesitant. I really don't know why I was hesitant about it...it was strange. I agreed to try it, though. He turned me around and fitted the gag in my mouth, buckling it under my hair. While I was facing away from him, he ran a hand over my back and then bit me again, hard. I could still make as much noise as I wanted, but couldn't articulate.

CK stripped me down to my underwear, had me lean against the counter, and raked his nails over my back several times (that always makes me shiver). He then turned me around and asked if I was still okay. I nodded slowly. At this point he just stared at me for a moment, stroking my hair, and I stared back. I was almost trembling, and we hadn't even really started yet. He jokingly bemoaned the fact that his camera batteries were dead, because (and I quote) "You look really hot in that.". He turned me back around and started grabbing floggers out of my bag.

Right then, I really felt more vulnerable than I have in a long time. My hands and feet were free, I wasn't restrained in any way other than by CK telling me where to put my feet and hands. Standing there nearly naked, gagged, skin already tingling from the marks of nails and teeth, I felt exposed, vulnerable, and I enjoyed every second of it.

The flogging itself I won't go into a play-by-play on for the simple reason that it would get dull fast. I will say that the rope flogger I made with the three knots on each strand? When used with force, it leaves a gathering of welts that turns into a gathering of tiny bruises. It's harsh. That one, the bootlace flogger, and the large red and black ones are the ones that made me squeal and writhe the most. CK likes the heaviness of the red and black one, while I like the sharp sting of the bootlace. After a while, he removed the gag; he didn't want it to get too uncomfortable my first time wearing it.

Finally he stopped a little abruptly, changed the tone of the music (he'd set up a soundtrack; heavier music for the scene itself and quieter music for cooling down), and lightly started stroking my back. When it got through my somewhat fuddled mind that we were done, I protested lightly "We're done? Aw..." and "I could go longer...", but didn't push it when he drew me over to the couch to sit.

See, a while back, I told CK I wanted to take baby steps, and asked him to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn't go too far too fast and do anything stupid. I apparently jumped in a way that made him really look closely at me, and he decided I'd had enough. He was right, I'm sure, but at that moment he could have suggested damn near anything and I would have agreed. "Wanna try flesh hook suspension with dinner forks?" "Oh sure! sounds like fun!!". *snicker* So yeah, it's good to have someone that's actually keeping a watch. I'd lost track of time, it seems. I thought it had been maybe fifteen minutes, and it had been nearly an hour.

Now, coming back to the title of the post. When CK has topped me in the past (either the two mini-scenes or the many times we'd just played around with teeth and nails and flesh), I never really felt truly submissive. Bottom-y, yes, but not really submissive. If someone bites me on the back of the neck or tugs my hair just right, it puts me in a somewhat submissive mood, but that only goes so far. When he put that bit in my mouth and buckled it tight, it put me straight into a very submissive headspace. Even though my hands were free, I would never have thought about removing it unless I had permission to do so. It was a strange and almost scary feeling, and it took me a while thinking about it afterward to process.

I ultimately concluded that I liked the feeling, that headspace, at least tentatively. ;) It's something I'm curious about exploring in the future. I'm also wondering if that was a one-time thing or if being gagged like that will always put me into that submissive space.

CK had fun too; he's normally the one doing the bottoming, and these playtimes give him a chance to let out his top/sadistic side. I think he's enjoying exploring that side of himself.

In any case...it was amazingly fun, I'm amazingly sore, and I have some amazingly cool bitemarks. If I can get the boy back over before they fade, I'll try to get some pics. They're not in spots that I can photograph successfully.

Anybody else have odd triggers like that, or notice a difference between bottom-space and subspace? Am I overthinking things (because I do tend to do that)? Anybody want to massage a sore back and ass? ;)

Friday, August 29, 2008

Leather!


So I bought an old leather jacket at Goodwill for twenty bucks. I did this as much to learn how to work with leather as anything else, because it was simply cheaper than buying leather of the same grade just to practice on.

The jacket was of a thin leather with a soft, not-quite-suede backside. I deconstructed the jacket, and used the arms to make a prototype flogger. I really only made it originally as a pattern, figuring I'd buy good leather to make a real flogger. I kind of wanted to get the feel of it.

Y'know what? I think it may just work as a real toy. The 26 falls are 1/4", and so very very soft. It makes a wicked slapping sound, but a minimum of actual impact. It may even be softer than the brushed-out rope.

I'm pleased with the result. Now to buy good thicker leather and make something a little more intense...*grins evilly*

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Getting Bolder on the HNT Thing...


So this time I'm showing off one of my new toys: nylon rope that's been through my supersecret patented dyeing proces (okay, so not supersecret. I used Kool-Aid. What? It's pretty and it smells like grape. ;)). The pic above is the black cherry version, the one I'm wearing is grape. *grin*




Happy HNT!
(by the way, Dee...took the bra off. Where's my chocolate? ;))

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Photoshoot Pics

Not of me. ;) CK requested a photoshoot; I think as much to impress a girl as anything else. *grin* I obliged, because I enjoy photography quite a bit, and it's just fun to get the boy nearly naked and in cuffs, chains, and/or rope.

So, I figured I'd post a few of them. The ones I'm posting don't show enough of his face for you to be able to pick him out of a crowd, and that's as much to keep me from being outed as him. I really don't think he'd care if I posted the ones with his face in 'em, but it's one of those things. Anonymity and privacy are big things for me.

On to the pics!

These two turned out very well. I like both versions, but I think I'm tending toward liking the warmth of the color version best. The black and white is rather artistic, though.
He's got a pair of leather wrist cuffs that he finds very comfortable, but he doesn't have an ankle set. The boy needs to pick some up. The shibari was an experiment, and too much fun to tie.


He just looks really good in the shot on the left. And as for the right, I love a hogtie. :)



There's lots of pics I unfortunately can't share unless I crop out his head or blur his face; either way it'd be a shame. So right now, these are going to be it. There'll probably be another shoot in the future, and I'll share others then.

Enjoy, people. ;)

Friday, August 22, 2008

Lochai Directing for Hogtied.com!

(crossposted verbatim from Catalina Loves. Click link for original post)

Lochai "working" at Hogtied.com

SAN FRANCISCO (August 22, 2008) – Award-winning fine art bondage photographer Lochai will take over from Matt Williams as director of Kink.com’s Hogtied.com, the company announced today.

“Hogtied was our first site and we still consider it our flagship,” said Kink.com founder and CEO Peter Acworth. “We’re very pleased to bring Lochai on to continue the Hogtied tradition. He’s one of the best-known bondage riggers around and for years he’s been out there in the community, both as a photographer and as an educator. Most importantly, he really gets what’s fun and beautiful and hot about women in bondage – he understands the Kink.com esthetic. I’m very much looking forward to working with him.”

Lochai’s inaugural update on Hogtied.com is a sizzling 56-minute scene with 22-year-old Virginian beauty Isobel Wren. Shot when Lochai was auditioning for his new role, the scene currently headlines the site, In it, Wren is placed in Lochai’s trademark Japanese-influenced rope bondage and subjected to a stunning number of screaming orgasms, including a copious squirt. Throughout, Lochai’s sardonic humor tempers the intense bondage and stimulation.

Said Lochai:

“Everything that’s done in any of the Kink.com sites is real, so it’s not like I’m acting a part. I’m actually being myself. I’m sarcastic, I’m a smart ass, I laugh during scenes and I also console when someone’s upset. I’m going to be doing my real play, my real life, within the walls of the Armory, because that’s what’s expected by the customers — and that’s what’s expected by Kink.com. I’m going to be super comfortable there, because I feel like I’m home.”

An award winning photographer whose work appears in galleries as well as in publications like The British Journal of Photography, Secret, Skin Two, Bizarre, and in his own fine art books, Lochai is equally well known as a bondage educator, teaching classes at conferences around the United States and doing public scenes in nightclubs and at fetish events. A founding director of the Photo Artisans Guild (PAG), in West Palm Beach Florida, he was also the co-founder and co-curator of the Traveling Erotic Art Show, which spent two years touring the United States. He also moderates a group on BDSM social networking site FetLife, CommUNITY Building, that seeks to build BDSM and alternative sexuality leadership skills.

Lochai takes over from longtime Hogtied.com director Matt Williams, who began directing the site in 2003. Williams was recently promoted to Kink.com’s Creative Director, and will be guiding creative development on new sites as well as Kink.com’s existing sites. “I’m looking forward to helping with the overall creative level,” said Williams. “I’m going to work with existing sites and new sites both, developing the look and feel, and sharing fantasies that I have in my head — I have great ideas for each one of our sites.”

Williams will continue to direct unscripted girl-girl erotic wrestling site UltimateSurrender.com, which he calls “my little baby.” “I’m going to hang on to that – I have some great ideas for the future.”

Lochai expressed his excitement about his new role.

“Every person who’s ever sat down in front of me in a classroom, or who has surrounded me out in a club to watch what I’m doing, has wanted this job. They want to get paid to tie up beautiful women and get them off – and that’s my job. It’s a wonderful feeling, and an affirmation that my kink pays off.”

A longtime Florida resident, Lochai will be relocating in September to the San Francisco area. He says he’ll continue his work teaching bondage and SM lifestyle classes, both at the half-dozen conferences he traditionally attends annually, and in the San Francisco area.

For more information about Lochai, visit his site Kirinawa.com or email the Kink.com Public Relations Manager at thomas@kink.com. Webmasters interested in promoting Kink.com content, including Hogtied.com, please visit www.KinkyDollars.com or email the Kink.com affiliate manager at terry@kink.com.

ABOUT HOGTIED.COM: Hogtied was the first site in the Kink.com network, directed by founder Peter Acworth from 1997 until Matt Williams took over in 2003. Updated every Tuesday, Hogtied.com offers members more than 15,000 streaming minutes and more than 84,000 photos in over 400 episodes that feature beautiful women subjected to sexual rope bondage, erotic punishment, and repeated orgasms.

ABOUT KINK.COM: San Francisco erotica studio Kink.com provides authentic fetish entertainment that seeks to demystify alternative sexualities and inspire sexual adventurers. Since the launch of its first site, Hogtied.com, in 1997, Kink.com has developed a network of premium adult sites that now operate from studios in the San Francisco Armory, a decommissioned National Guard facility with sets ranging from stark dungeons to luxurious pieds-à-terre. Kink.com also operates a free documentary site at BehindKink.com and the leading fetish affiliate network, KinkyDollars.com.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Cause and effect...HNT?

Never thought I'd be doing this, but...

So there's cause and then there's effect. It's simply the way the world works, and we have no power over the sequence.

The cause:And the effect:



Happy HNT!

(note: this post is done in a tongue in cheek manner, of course. This isn't a drunken moment of exhibition; merely a sleepy moment of exhibition. *grin*)

Dollar Store Run and Craft Day

After the play-party the other night, I got some interesting ideas for pervertibles and decided to go on a hunt. Off to the Dollar Store I went!

Click, of course, for a larger image. There are four different types of clips: wooden clothespins for the purists, rubberized spring clips, hard plastic spring clips and metal spring clips. They all have different strengths. I also picked up the makeup and pencil cases I have them in.

The red fuzzy thing is a mini-duster. Very soft and tickly. The black things below the duster are vinyl headbands. They actually deliver a decent stinging slap, and one has tiny vinyl teeth on one side. I'm trying to decide if I want to try to fabricate some sort of handle for them.

Then there's the black spatula. Don't laugh, I saw one used to good effect at the party. ;) Then a dish brush with two nice scratchy brush surfaces with different textures. There's a three-pack of hand sanitizer, a package of thumbtacks, and a pair of thin work gloves with a slightly nubbly grip surface on the palm. The long thing in the upper right: a two pack of glow-stick necklaces. *grin* 22", whippy and stingy, and come with a black plastic sleeve to protect them before you actually want to use them. The sleeve itself is also interestingly stingy, and in a slightly different way.

A nice selection of stuff, no? And right around fifteen bucks, including tax.

Now, last night, during our weekly tabletop roleplaying game (my entire gaming group is kinky. It's actually very cool), I pull out one of the gloves, some glue, and the thumbtacks. Normally during the game I'm snuggling on the couch with CK, so he was understandably curious when I started focusing on my project instead. SC caught what I was doing almost immediately and started grinning. FM couldn't quite see me from his angle, so he just glanced over once in a while to see what was happening.

Once it became obvious what I was doing, CK perked up. "What does that feel like?" "Can I feel it?" I kept getting at various points of my creative process. *grin* I finally finished the prototype. I think I may redo it with the other glove, because the first one just ain't cute. But, just so you can see:

It's interesting. When I first tried it out, I was obviously using it too lightly, because CK started laughing from the tickling. I finally found the right pressure after a few tries and feedback from the boy.

Slightly off-topic, but that's one thing I need to work on with any implement: Because I'm new and I don't really know what the real effect of some of these things are when wielded by another person, I tend to be too timid. I need to be less cautious, but I also don't want to go too hard, either. I'll find a balance eventually, after some practice.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Owies.

Did I mention the boy bites? Deep, strong bites. On me, when it starts to bruise this quickly, it's gonna be around for a while. It hurt like a motherfucker...and it felt so good.

Today it's sore. Every time I flex my shoulder and back muscles just right, I can feel the deeper bites like muscles sore from exercise. And I even enjoy this soreness.

When he bites, CK tends to hold me so I can't move. Last night I let myself struggle a little bit; not enough that I was going to actually break away, but enough that he had to work a bit to hold on. The struggle wasn't a complaint. I sometimes just like to test the strength of whatever (in this case, whomever) is restraining me. I could tell from the boy's reactions that he liked that small bit of resistance. I think it surprised him (both that I liked to struggle and that he enjoyed it as well)...surprised me a bit too.

I thought both reactions were interesting...and now I'm curious. That's how things always start...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

First Play Party: Wow.

It was actually hard coming up with a title for this post. The first thing that popped into my head was humorous, of course (it wouldn't be me, otherwise) : "First Play Party: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly". Problem is, there was no bad and no ugly. One perfectly good title down the tubes.

It was a blast. There's an orientation before every party for first-timers, which makes sure the rules are known before entering the playspace. As for the playspace, all I can say is: Wow. Just wow.

And that thing about not playing during the first party, just observing? Yeah. Right. That lasted about an hour and a half. *grin*

I can't go into a great deal of detail about the space or the people because I have no sort of permission from any of the participants to do so, but a few things I saw:

  • Some beautiful, beautiful clothing. I want a corset more than ever now.
  • Some beautiful, beautiful people, male and female alike. Many of the beautiful, strong, sensuous dominant women there? Larger women. Gorgeous.
  • A feeding scene. Not my kink personally, but fascinating to watch.
  • CBT performed on a couple of amazingly tough gentlemen.
  • A wonderful foot-fetish scene.
  • Some wonderful toys I'd never seen before. An evil stick? Gods, who came up with this thing? Instant welt, every time. I want one.
And some things I did:

  • Learned to lace a corset. A waist cincher, to be exact. Got her down to about 22.5 inches.
  • Learned a tiny bit of shibari. More just a little bit of the idea behind shibari, but it counts.
  • Used a riding crop for the first time. Love it.
  • Gave birthday spankings to an attractive gentleman I'd just met that evening ('spankings' is a relative term. There was a riding crop involved).
  • Flogged, scratched, bit, admired the ass of, and cropped a lovely young man that I'd never even spoken to (I was brought in as a third top for this lucky guy).
That's a quick overview of it, of course, but it gives a basic idea of the excellent first experience I had. I really and truly hope I reflected well on my 'sponsors' (SC and FM; they've been members of this group for a good while now). I tried not to come off as too much of a tourist, but I don't know how successful I was. There was so much to see!

I do have to admit, by the time midnight rolled around, I was a little overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, but there was just a great deal to process.

It was like Disneyland for pervs. Awesome. :)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

First Play Party Tonight.

I'm pretty excited; I think it's going to be a blast.

I haven't met anybody that's part of this group other than SC, FM, and CK, but they seem like a fun bunch. My plan is to just meet and mingle and observe tonight, but from everything people keep telling me about their first party experiences, I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of playing. I may just get adventurous. ;)

Between common sense, what I've already learned from my friends in the scene, and the newbie orientation this group holds before its parties, I should be able to avoid making any major faux pas. Now if I can get a nap beforehand, I may be able to avoid yawning halfway through. I wanted to sleep in, and it didn't happen. Grr.

So, wish me luck. *salute*

Friday, August 15, 2008

Hot Naked Blog Boy Roundup!

The event you've all been waiting for!

The first of the Nekkid Blog Boy Roundup posts over on Pornocracy.

Check out the fun, and let's encourage all of the blogger gentlemen out there to participate. ;)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sometimes you just gotta.

I'm not normally one for crossposts like this, but this one's pretty scary.

Catalina (of Catalina Says and The Best Sex Bloggers) is having some issues. I'm not a mother, but this still pisses me off. Another reason I'm linking to this is that if I'm not mistaken, Catalina and I live in the same state; it's an odd mix of Bible Belt conservatives and intellectual forward-thinkers. I can't stand it when the Bible Belt conservatives get stupid like this.

So: go to Catalina's blog and read about the raffle. There's some amazing prizes that have been donated to the cause. Buy a ticket. At very least read about what still goes on in this country.

Catalina, there are good thoughts coming to you from this part of the state.

Evolution of a Flogger

In my last post, I put up a picture of a flogger I'd made out of twine. It consisted of a large number of little tiny flat braids (technically plaits, but who's counting). Go look so you know what I'm talking about. I'll wait.

Did you see it? Okay. So it looked at that point like a light sensation toy, something scratchy and tickly but not really painful, and lightly testing it on an arm and a leg bore that theory out.

Well, last night I got creative.
What I did here was take the flat braids in groups of four and made thick, dense round braids with them. I finished the ends in electrical tape and also reinforced the end of the handle with the same tape.

The tape is for aesthetics, laziness and (I'll admit it) a touch of nastiness.


I think the light sensation toy has evolved into something a little more interesting...I'll let you know how the test runs go. ;)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Productive Day, and Thinking About the Party

I had way too much time on my hands today.

The suede lace flogger I made the other day. The two rope floggers I made today, and the jute twine toy I started braiding the other day and finished today. One of the ropes I knotted the strands and the other I brushed 'em out so it was nice and soft and a neat light toy. The twine one is braided and knotted, and it may be completely ineffective as a flogger; however, I enjoyed making it as an exercise, and if nothing else it'll look good on a wall. *grin*

I think they'll be fun to experiment with. I'll let you know how they go.

In other news, if all goes well, I'll be heading to my first play-party on Saturday. I'm both excited and nervous, but I think it'll be a lot of fun. My goal is to simply observe this time, but from what I understand that's often the goal for the first party; that's not always the way it turns out. So we'll see...and I'll let you know how it goes.

SC and FM are going, but CK can't make it this time. From what they all say, I'll get along fine with the rest of the group. I hope so, because they seem like interesting, intelligent and creative people. Either way, I'm determined to have a good time.

If any of you have any advice for a first-timer that you wish you had known for your first party, feel free to pass it on.

Obligatory PSA

So you wouldn't really think we'd still need to educate on safer sex in this day and age, with knowledge at your fingertips in the form of the internet. Problem is, people need to realize that they need the knowledge before they'll search for it.

I've talked to a few people in the past couple of years that have been lacking in knowledge of certain safer sex practices; and just as important, the why behind them. These were not dumb people, mind you. I tend not to take people without brains well and simply won't deal with them. These have been intelligent, well-read people.

Talking to one of these people, I was told that std education in the military branch they were in consisted of 'This is what this std looks like. Don't get it.'. And y'know, when I thought back on it, that's really what std education in school was as well. Until just a few years ago, I didn't know a great deal. Even as of a year or two ago, I had some misconceptions.

Therefore, I'm doing a PSA here dealing with the subject.

The reason this is a big thing for me is that I have oral HSV(herpes simplex virus)1. I'm using that term first because simply saying 'I get cold sores' minimizes it. Yes, I get cold sores. I've been getting them since I was a kid. Lots of people get 'em. I'm going to focus on this particular virus because, well, it's the one I'm concerned about passing on. Maybe later there'll be more PSAs along this vein. We'll see.

I have done a lot of reading, and unfortunately, the 'facts' vary depending on the age of the study, the writer, and the population surveyed. From the amount of reading I've done, I've sifted through and gotten a good idea about what the probable facts are.

Here we go:
-Depending on who you listen to, anywhere from 80%-90% of the adult population has antibodies for HSV1. This means they've at least been exposed to the virus.

-Even if you are not experiencing an outbreak (don't have actual cold sores or the tingly feeling beforehand), you can still pass it on. The chances are insanely low, but the chance is still there.

-Some sources say that if you have HSV1 you can't get HSV2. Some say the chances are lower, but you can still get it. Some say the whole thing's hooey and it doesn't make a difference. I personally am going to assume it's hooey and protect myself anyway.

-Oral HSV1 can be spread genitally. The chances are lower because it's not the favored 'home area' of the virus, but any chance is a chance.

-If you do get HSV1 (orally or otherwise), you may never actually have an outbreak. The outbreak may be so mild you don't feel it. You may mistake the outbreak for something else. In any case, it is still transmissible.


Here's the deal, in a nutshell: If you get cold sores, you have some kind of HSV. Get tested. Hell, even if you don't, get tested. I got a full STD panel a couple of months ago, and even though I knew I was going to come up clear other than the HSV1, it was still an enormous weight off to get the results.

If you do turn up positive with HSV1, y'know what? It's cold sores. It's a mild skin infection. Big deal. Your responsibility is to talk to your partners. When I even feel like I might be getting a sore, I tell any friends close enough to need the warning not to kiss me until it heals or the feeling passes. So I go a few days without kissing. I'll survive. As for oral sex: "Just to let you know, I get cold sores. I don't get outbreaks often, but I wanted to tell you so we can make informed decisions." If your partners aren't educated about the risks, by all means educate!

Then, between you, you can weigh the risks. Best practice is to always use barriers (condoms, dental dams) for oral in that case, but some people decide to forgo that. Whatever decisions you make, make sure they're intelligent ones.

At very very least, if you don't feel like you can talk to your partners about it (at this point you have to think about why you can't talk about things like this, but that's outside the scope of this post), at very least use barriers. Just tell them you feel more comfortable when you use them.

You have to remember that safety has to come first. Safer sex practices are key, especially when you're dealing with poly/kinky situations...the health of more than just two people ends up being involved.

Barriers are your friends. Condoms, dental dams, latex gloves...use 'em and love 'em. Unless you and your partner have both had clean std panels since the last time either of you have had sexual contact with anyone else (and even then, things can take time to show up), keep yourself safe.

You see, people lie. Your partner may be lying about having been tested, or about the results; their previous partners may have lied about theirs. You simply don't know. Keep it safe.

This PSA brought to you by the Long-Winded Newbie.

Friday, August 8, 2008

I Can Has Impulse Buy?

So I normally don't impulse buy. I just don't have the income to do so.

I've been window-shopping for nice floggers online to get an idea of pricing structure for 'em, figuring I'd have to save up to get ones of decent quality (100+ for toys! eeek!). So yesterday, I go to a local porn shop to see if they have decent leather cuffs. No dice, unfortunately, but they do have a really really pretty heavy leather flogger in black and red...

It's really aesthetically pleasing. The strands look almost braided, but they're actually looped into themselves. It has a nice weight to it, and it's a decent price (still pricy, but it was right...there...).

I'll be eating ramen for a couple of weeks, but I got meself a toy.

(easily identifiable tattoo once again horribly covered with good ol MSPaint)

And yeah. It has a nice kick to it. I started to worry after the purchase that I'd gotten taken for a ride, and maybe the quality sucked (it looked decent to me, but I'm also not completely sure what to look for). I felt much better after SC looked it over and pronounced it worth the purchase. She also got a kick out of the little lace flogger I'd made, which made me proud (the little thing leaves marks! Nice ones!).

Anyway...my toy collection is meager, but growing. I think I may be an official pervert now...*grin*

Thursday, August 7, 2008

DIY flogger!


So as I stated in an earlier post, I'm going to be trying to make a few of my toys rather than spending a gigantic amount of cash. Some things I know I'm simply going to have to buy, but others...

Between using SC's little suede-lace cat as a reference and reading up on a few things on the wonderful intarnetz, I was able to make a cat of my own. I took ten suede laces, folded them in half and passed them through a copper ring. After I arranged them as neatly as they were going to get, I used electrical tape to tightly bind the strands together. I taped them tightly enough it made a nice dense handle that's slightly flexible, but not very. Then I used super-thin hemp cording and wound it around the electrical tape, covering it for aesthetic reasons and giving it a better grip. I think it turned out pretty well, actually. The lacing was cheap (though if I'd bought it in bulk it probably would have been cheaper; I didn't have the self-control to wait, though. ;)), and the cost for the tiny amount of electrical tape and hemp is negligible. I'm now wondering if there's a way to soften up the laces, and wondering if I actually want to soften them. This little toy seems like it'll have a good sting behind it.

All in all a successful experiment, I think...and I think I may be experimenting more along these lines.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

How the Other Half Lives

This is going up on my Fetlife journal as well.

Last night, I got my first real flogging...and I still haven't completely wrapped my head around it. Not in a bad way, mind you. There was just a lot to process and I'm still working on that.

CK came over and I cooked dinner. We do this once or twice a week, and it often leads to snuggling. Last night I happened to have the toys SC graciously let me borrow out on the counter, and the boy grabbed the big deerskin one and playfully tapped me on the backside with it. I grinned and said "After dinner."

So, after dinner, we ended up snuggling as is the norm; we started playing around a bit, biting and scratching (also the norm) a little. Finally he ended up biting me on the back of the neck (very, very hard), which throws me extremely quickly into a very bottomy mood (I hesitate to use the word submissive, though that may actually be closer.). And then he made me...

...a milkshake. ;) No, that's not where it ends, but the timing was amusing. *grin* We enjoyed the shakes while we talked a little about topping and bottoming and what we wanted out of each...then once we both knew what page we were on, he stood me up and started in.

I leaned up against the counter in a similar position to the one CK had been in when I topped him. He grabbed the large, soft deerskin flogger first, and started lightly on my back. Very soft feeling, that one...like the brush of a hand. When using anything other than just the tips of the lashes, this one was much more of a thud. I started to relax under the softness of the blows, and then they started to vary in location (back, ass and thighs rather than just my back)and strength. He landed a few just at the end that were much harder and nearly felt like a thumping fist.

Then he switched to the mid-sized one, the bullhide. _That_ one stung. ;) It could also slap, and CK again varied his blows to show me the difference in the sensations. While the deerskin one felt interesting, I enjoyed the bullhide more; it was harsher. He was also able to put a little more muscle behind this one, I think.

Then he switched to the smallest one, the little suede-lace cat that I enjoyed using on him so much...and wow. I understand why he was twitching and growling more with the little one than the larger ones. This one _stung_, and it was _amazingly_ pleasant. He worked with this one for a while, then said he was going to switch back to the deerskin as a closer.

Y'know what? On warm, tingling skin that's been worked over a little with some nice stingy toys, that soft deerskin flogger has a little more impact. ;) He also had me change position a bit to get to my ass and thighs a bit more easily, and I think I jumped at least once when the strands wrapped to my inner thigh (wasn't a bad jump, mind ya).

Once we were done, we cuddled on the couch (I found myself in an _incredibly_ snuggly mood after). It had only been a short period of time (maybe fifteen minutes or so?), but I was pretty surprised at how I felt. It wasn't a full-fledged floaty high like I've heard a lot of bottoms talk about, but it definitely had the edges of it, and it was a _lot_ of fun . I got petted and snuggled and we talked about what we each got out of the experience, and what we wanted to do next time (he's already started planning...this should be fun *grin*).

Today, I found myself thinking about the scene often during the workday. My back is unmarked other than a couple of bites and one nail-mark from where I was scratched (I also have bite-bruises on the back of my neck and both arms, all pleasantly sore. Did I mention the boy bites?), but I still remember the feeling of super-sensitized skin after playtime was over. I can see how someone could get hooked on this feeling...

CK and I are looking for different things when we play, and also different things depending on what role we happen to be taking. It's an interesting dynamic, and one I for one am going to enjoy exploring.

So there you are. Another first. I still want to try a singletail (both ends of it!), but I'm trying to take babysteps. ;)

Again, too tired to really write..

But sometimes you just have to share (or maybe it's brag, I'm not sure which).

I blogged last week about giving my first real flogging...if I can wrap my brain around it, tomorrow night I'll be posting about receiving my first real flogging. *nod* Same boy, just a change in mood for both of us.

No arguments here...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Project Time!

So...I seem to have acquired a potentially expensive new hobby.

There's a lot of sites out there dealing with everyday pervertibles (I'm not sure if this term actually belongs to someone, but I'm borrowing it) and DIY BDSM toys and equipment, and I've decided to take advantage of 'em. This is either going to be really good or really frightening. *grin*

A little suede lace cat should be easy to make, from what I can tell. Rope floggers look relatively simple as well. The more complex leather things...those I'll just save up for. I'm going to try to get a little creative with it and see what I come up with.

When I come up with something really good, I'll post it. And simply to be fair, when I come up with something really bad, I'll post it too. ;) Gotta have some humor.

If anyone has any unique ideas, let's hear them!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Interesting Exercise Routine

So SC left me some of her floggers to practice with. Yes, it may be a little geeky to actually practice with 'em, but then I'm a geek so it works out.

I ended up leaning an office chair against the kitchen counter to get a more natural angle. I started out with the biggest one and moved to the smallest, just like I did on CK. The larger flogger I had to concentrate more on keeping it moving and untangled; control rather than speed. The smallest one I could use far more speed, and could get more force behind it.

I worked on figuring out how to strike with different parts of the flogger (tip vs longer length of strand), how striking from the wrist differs from putting your arm and shoulder behind it, and played with different patterns of movement. It wasn't as fun as playing with the boy, and I didn't get any actual feedback as to how it felt, but from a technical standpoint I think it was helpful.

I learned that it's actually a pretty good arm workout. I may have to learn to use my left hand just to keep things even. *grin* I still want to play with singletails, and I want to get a nice riding crop. I'm getting the idea that I'm going to be spending a lot of money on toys...*sigh*

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Why Do We Do It?

This post is in response to a suggestion made by Curvaceous Dee in her post 'Rebuttal'.

In the post, she explains why she shares the most intimate details of her sexuality in her blog. It's good stuff, give it a read. In the comments, she suggests making it a meme and following her lead. So, here it is. :)

I explained a little of the why in an earlier post, but I'll elaborate a little.

While I suppose I'm considered a sex/lifestyle blogger, my posts tend to be rather more on the technical side than the erotic. The subject may be erotic, but as of yet I haven't posted anything extremely titillating (other than photos of lovely marks on a nice strong back; those were pretty hot, I'll admit). Part of the reason for that is that the point to starting this blog was for introspective purposes; an examination of myself and my experiences. I'm still very much in the process of learning about the kinky side of myself, figuring out what I actually like, don't like, what my limits and needs are. Hence the technical, learning style of writing I've used so far. The other part is that I'm still a bit self-conscious, but that's slowly but surely fading. As I evolve, the blog will as well. Stay tuned.

Another reason for writing about these intimate things for all to see: networking, learning, and someday helping others. I'm a newbie to the BDSM scene; I do have real-life friends that have been there for years. However, knowledge is power, and I want to learn from a variety of people about a variety of things. Feedback is good. And at some point there'll be someone else that's learning and searching that stumbles onto this blog, and hopefully my introspection and the interactions that happen here can help them in their own quest.

So that's why I do this in a nutshell.

Anybody else?

Pics, Finally

So, as promised, a couple of pictures from the scene I wrote up in the last post. There's only a few, for a few reasons. First, I was a little busy at the time and didn't want to stop and take photos. ;) Second, it's a camera phone, and while it happens to be a decent one, some of the shots didn't come out very well. Third, in cropping for anonymity, at least one of the shots would have simply not ended up looking good.

So, please enjoy the ones I do have.

The first shot is of CK in the hogtie and cuffs. Sorry ladies, yes, he did keep his pants on. I think he was wary of my newbieness and the possibility of stray shots to tender areas. ;) The wrist cuffs he's wearing are his; the ankles are my little velcro beginner cuffs. The weird light is from a little light-up toy SC brought; it's plastic, pointy, and can be used for a very light cane-like effect.





This one is a shot of his back after the leather floggers (but before the harsher stuff SC demonstrated). I like how you can see the streaks from individual strands.










From one of our silly moments: Pointy things can be fun. Yes, that is a smiley face. We also played tic-tac-toe elsewhere on his back, but I didn't get a shot of that (keep in mind, this was simply a non-sharp pointy plastic thing...no bottoms were harmed in the making of this post. Cuttings aren't for a 101 class. That's for later. ;)).

It was a good, informative, just plain fun night. It wasn't a hardcore intensive scene, but I think it was a good one nonetheless.






Free bonus picture:

My cat apparently likes the dragon's tongue. He couldn't leave it alone...