Thursday, July 31, 2008

More About the Lesson

(Edit: The Boy has decided that instead of being referred to as the boy, he wants to be called CK. Works for me. Less typing. :) So going forward, CK=the boy. We now return you to your regularly scheduled post.)

Last night was a very interesting technical 'class' on BDSM in general and the specifics surrounding a scene. This post isn't going to make for a very titillating read; instead it's going to go over some things I learned, some things I noticed, and how I felt about the whole experience. Who knows, titillating or not, you may still find it interesting. Keep reading.

We (SC, the boy and I) gathered at my apartment after we were all done with our respective workdays. We had a lovely dinner of caesar salad with chicken (SC cooks. ;)), and the boy cleaned up the kitchen while SC started telling me about the history of BDSM in America, what the lifestyle means to her, and some safety basics. We'd had conversations about safety and etiquette before in passing, but a little reinforcement is never a bad thing.

Then SC and the boy went through a mock-negotiation, as if they'd never met, so I could get a feel for the amount of information generally may sound silly, but it was actually quite helpful. While they were doing that and I listened, I rummaged through the toys.

Because we'd already negotiated beforehand that I wasn't going to be using any singletails without some non-human-body practice, I didn't use a couple of the pretty pretty toys she brought. But I did admire them. ;) I picked out a few floggers to play with (the ones pictured in the previous post).

First, we blindfolded the boy and hogtied him (Side note: the boy looks amazingly hot in cuffs, and he really enjoys wearing them). Due to an old injury he can't stay in that position for long, but I started on him with the blue and black flogger after a brief instruction from SC. After a few minutes, we got him up and leaned him against the counter, hands cuffed in front.

Since this was my first time playing with toys with any reach, SC arranged a towel around the boy's neck to protect his face just in case I made any accidental wrap-shots; not a bad precaution considering I don't have any experience in trying to aim. I also learned to watch the backswing; if you're not careful, you can hit your damn fool self. *grin*

After getting the feel of the heft and swing of the longer, softer toy, I switched to the one that I really thought would be roughest (the one at the top of the photo). The strands are thicker and harder leather, though still marvelously flexible. This one did get a better reaction and was easier to wield, as the strands didn't get tangled as easily. The relative lightness also allowed for swifter strikes.

Then I moved on to the smallest of the floggers. It's basically a number of thin suede laces wrapped together (it looks amazingly easy to make, and I will so be making one). This one was fun. Nice marks, each strand leaving its own red streak on his back...this one got the most pleasant growls out of the boy, as I mentioned before.

Keep in mind, this wasn't all grim and serious; completely the opposite. We were having fun. There was giggling and tickling and SC broke out ice cubes at one point (now that was fun); there were jokes and it was just all around a good time.

After this, SC demonstrated the safe use of a singletail and a few other impact toys, including a dragon's tongue (oh, I so want one of these) and a length of light chain. After that we called it. The boy got snuggled and petted and hugged, and slowly he came down from the rush. After SC left, the boy and I snuggled on the couch and talked about idle things, relaxing.

A few interesting things I noted about myself during this:
When SC wasn't actively demonstrating, I found myself becoming alternately hyperfocused on the boy's back as if it were a canvas that I was painting and hyperaware of his reactions. It was a little strange, actually; the boy's very stoic, and I know from experience that if he actually makes a noise it's either very good or very bad, and I found myself pausing at each sound he made trying to determine which it was. I think that pausing too much actually interrupted the rhythm of the flogging and probably wasn't the best thing I could have done. I probably should have trusted him to know his limits and call yellow if he needed to, but I was overthinking it. I'll ask the boy his thoughts next time I see him.

Also, I realized that after the scene, I was feeling extremely protective of the boy. Not possessive, but protective. I felt like I needed to make sure he was okay. That's not our normal dynamic, but it felt natural. I also felt more of a need to touch him than normal. Nothing too out there, just a hand on his shoulder or his arm, and if I had to step away for a moment I'd move back as soon as possible. Odd.

Finally, when we were snuggling on the couch afterward, we were doing our usual bantering/wrestling, and he tried one of his usual maneuvers. To explain: generally, even if I'm not in a submissive frame of mind, there are a couple of triggers that will put me there. He's learned 'em. So when he wants to get his way, he'll usually slide his fingers through my hair at the back of my neck and grip a handful (hard!). This usually makes me stop anything I'm doing or saying, gasp, and simply wait for whatever...
So he tried this maneuver. It didn't do a damn thing. I simply said "That's not doing what it normally does." grinned, and pulled his hand away. I found that pretty interesting, actually.

Anyway...amazingly long post later, that was my evening. Hope it was at least vaguely interesting.


CK said...

Where are the pictures of the scene? Hrmm? I want to see what I look like when hogtied.

Yes, I was making noises, but they were all good. Except when I called yellow because my leg was shaking.

For me, the scene was very interesting and very amusing. As it was an instructional scene, I didn't have a mindset for the heavier play that I normally go for.

I will always make noise. If I don't, that's where experience comes in. I'm a challenging bottom. That's what makes me fun, I think. The noises I make will depend on intensity. As a dominant or top, it's your task to read me. I understand that you're trusting me to tell you when we're done, but I'm trusting you to read me well enough so I don't have to tell you. That's how I roll, take it or leave it. So while I'm a pain slut and a masochist, I'm also a very challenging bottom, since I don't like calling safewords. I'm also trusting you to not hurt me too bad.

The after care was enjoyable. I had one of the best endorphin rushes I've had in a while. I think that what caused me the damn good endorphin was just the light play. When I go heavy, I'm more focused on taking it and not backing out. So I'm not really getting the endorphins, just more of a pride thing. And a relief that says "I made it." It is amusing, and logical that pulling your hair doesn't put you in subbie mode after playing. *takes note of this*

I'm CK, and I approve this.

PantheraPardus said...

*pokes the boy* I have to learn to trust myself, too, and that's an interesting twist to all this. And you are fun. ;)

I'll put the pics up if you like. I'll crop 'em a bit for size and anonymity.

And yeah, you're challenging. And you're still a brat. *bites*