Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Who is this annoying newbie, anyway? The 'Who' of this blog.

I suppose I should write a little about myself to kind of set the stage.

I'm a geek. I'm a gamer geek, sci-fi/fantasy geek, and really just kind of a random all-around geek. I like being a geek. I'm finding that geeks are surprisingly common amongst BDSM types, so I'm rather enjoying that.

Physically, I'm somewhat tall for a woman, fat (but with a good bit of muscle beneath), and pretty comfortable in my own skin these days. Mostly, at least. The last remnants of my self-esteem issues are still there, but going away bit by bit. My eyes are pale-ish and my hair is long; very long. Perfectly straight. I tend to get my hair stroked quite a bit by many different people...and no complaints from me. :)

Mentally, I'm relatively stable. ;) I've just been through an extraordinarily stressful time in my life and seem to have gotten past it at least mostly unscathed. There are lingering stresses, but nothing unmanageable.

Emotionally, I'm in an interesting place. I call it a selfish point in my life; instead of worrying and wondering about what other people think of me or want from me, I'm going to enjoy being me for a while. This isn't to say I'm being a jerk or ignoring friends in need; I basically mean that I'm trying to make myself my first priority these days.

Sexually, I'm bisexual. The way I tend to describe it is this: My attraction to males is more primal (a 'need'), and my attraction to females is more aesthetic (a 'want'). This is obviously a generalization, but it stands for the majority of physical gender. I'm finding that I have polyamorous leanings as well, at least when it comes to non-committed relationships.

As for the BDSM side of things, I call myself a switch; topping and bottoming both appeal to me quite a bit, at least in theory. I haven't done a lot of either. I've also always known that I like a little pain mixed in with my pleasure (you know, a bite on the shoulder during sex. Bruises from being grabbed a little too roughly by the arm, that kind of thing). Lately I'm realizing that that the level of pain I enjoy is actually quite a bit higher than I've thought all these years...

This blog is going to probably be vastly boring for anyone but me, but it's a place to get my thoughts together and maybe learn a little something from a wide variety of people. That's the theory, at least. ;)

So that's me in a nutshell. Any questions?

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